Less is more. This is a crazy paradox that requires explanation, but learning this trade secret opened up more joy and more money without me needing to trade more time for that joy or money.
My turning point came when, the phone rang (AGAIN), and while talking to a client about their situation, my 4-year-old was tugging on my skirt repeatedly. I pretended I did not hear him and kept talking while growing annoyed that he was still there. I cut the call short in frustration and turned and screamed at my kid with so much venom, the fear in his little eyes screamed louder than his paralyzed silence did. I realized what I had just done. I went back in time and became the 4-year-old and felt every inch of this fear. I dropped to my knees, hugged my baby, and cried out an apology I hoped he would understand.
Something had to change, and it had to change immediately. This was the life I lived as a child, as an adult, this was the life I created.
Overwhelm in leadership is nothing new.
The thing about building a team is, your team looks to you for leadership, training, accountability and more. Many find themselves launched into a coaching career without intending to become a coach. This happened to me over and over again as I moved through the ranks in my real estate career, in my insurance career, in my network marketing career, and in my start-from-scratch career. As you attract others to your group, leadership is mandatory, and leadership can be exhausting.
Nowhere is this more obvious than in the church. My father was a Pastor, and my brother still is. I grew up a Missionary kid. I have seen the demand and limited supply when it comes to those offering service, and those demanding the service:
Matthew 9:36-37 “When he [Jesus] saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few.”
Even back in the time of Moses, it was still a bad idea to dilute your impact by trying to be available to everyone.
Exodus 18:21-23 “But select capable men from all the people—men who fear God, trustworthy men who hate dishonest gain—and appoint them as officials over thousands, hundreds, fifties and tens. Have them serve as judges for the people at all times, but have them bring every difficult case to you; the simple cases they can decide themselves. That will make your load lighter, because they will share it with you. If you do this and God so commands, you will be able to stand the strain, and all these people will go home satisfied.”
As I resented the limited time my parents had for me, running off to help the others, ignoring me – I vowed I would never do the same when I had a family. Guess what – I repeated this pattern before I realized I was doing it. Thank God I wisened up and fixed myself before my kids totally resented me too.
What I lived through was the continuous ring of the phone I started to hate. Every time that thing rang, my parents became unavailable to me. Worse, sometimes it meant they left home to go somewhere to help someone who would later move on ungratefully while I sat here ignored. My crying and tantrums to gain attention frustrated my parents, angering them into ignoring me even more and justifying it with time-outs, and even more limits on the few things that did distract me, like TV, or playing with my friends. How did I end up repeating this horrible pattern? How did I fix it so that this was no longer my reality?
Money and the need for it drive responsible adults out to work. Some manage to earn an income from something they love, and these are the candidates most likely to be so immersed in their work that family can be shoved to a lesser priority. Of course, money can be it’s own driving force, and some work so many jobs to make that money that time for joy and family are just sucked right out of them. Either way, the reason to go out to work – providing for your family, gets all screwed up. The result becomes the reason, and the real reason is lost. In other words, you may have gone to work to earn money to provide for your family, then got lost in the making of money that your family got lost.
I implemented Less is More in my life
I immediately learned how to package my training into digital and physical products that my clients could consume on their own, freeing up a whole bunch of my time and in the process, allowing me to serve much more. Less is more was now in action. As I reduced the time I needed to spend, one-on-one, with even fewer people, it also allowed me to serve the fewer at a higher level. I was now able to pour into the few in a bigger, more satisfactory, more meaningful way – then when I tried to stretch myself thin, offering a diluted, wishy-washy, less satisfactory level of service simply because I was trying to do too much with what I did have.
I learned the paradox of less is more. However, in embracing this strategy – I was able actually to serve more. It was CRAZY! The simple decision to stop trading my time for money has what launched me into finding strategies to deliver more of me, with less of me.
I helped others do the same too. The help I give to others is confidential, but one allowed me to share her results publicly. This is an example of duplication.
This is a Therapist, who offers individual, couple, and family therapy. Her counseling calendar was overwhelming. People in trouble always have a lot to vent and emotionally dump, and when they find a listening ear, they talk the heck out because they won’t share anywhere else. I helped her package some of the most common things she did into a consumable form. Before her customers come to her, they stop here first, and having consumed this content, not only did that buy here a whole bunch of time back, but also prepared them, so when they did meet for counseling the conversation was at a higher level. This is a ‘less is more’ example. There is still more she could do in this area, but at least she got started.
It is possible to automate and systemize a lot of what you do into consumable content that you can package for a fee. This can increase your income while reducing your one-on-one time with clients at the lower level so that you can focus in on the juicy parts of the job.
If you love what you do, but you are doing too much of it yourself and want to learn the ‘less is more’ strategy; connect with me to learn strategies of this crazy paradox of doing less but serving more, and earning more. Yes, you will see the very strategies I will share with you in play. I am a do-as-I-do trainer, NOT a do-as-I-say, not-as-I-do coach.
Systemize and automate, so you can spend more time with those who deserve it – not just those who demand it.
Complete this form for a zero obligation conversation with me. During our 30 minute chat, I promise you will be heard, and it will be a resourceful time fas we both explore if a continued relationship is a mutual fit going forward.